R&B artist Usher Raymond’s 1998 hit record “Nice and Slow” smashed Billboard Charts and is a longstanding fan favorite. While being a song and music video that fit perfectly into the #TBT (Throwback Thursday) post on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter, it can also perfectly describe the current state of domestic relations litigation: a process that goes “nice and slow.”
Many clients are often surprised and upset about how long litigating a family law issue may take. In fact, when handling consultations in Atlanta, that is the most difficult question to answer. My response is usually, “it takes as long as you all make it take”, meaning it can be “nice and slow” because you want to fight, or you can settle for a quickie and get the case settled.
Domestic relations law is an area that combines two things that people are extremely passionate about: family and money. When the two intersect in litigation, tension brews and emotions escalate quickly. In some, it presents a “fight” response. They want to nail the opposing party to the wall and make sure the judge knows every negative aspect and detail of his or her life, regardless of the relevance. This reaction is normally followed by my gentle reminder that fighting usually costs much more money than the return on your investment.
On the other hand, you have those that want to settle quickly to get it over with and settle on terms that they later regret because they have ignored advice of counsel and signed away rights they would know about and understood if they took things “nice and slow.”
The frustration of family law is often how long the process takes. But be reminded that everything has a process. Sometimes, quickies are good, but quite often “nice and slow” is the best way to go. The latter prevents missteps in the case and allows for you to make an informed decision on what you want to happen in a case that will inevitably effect you for the for a long time to come. Justice cannot be rushed. Be informed, be patient, and know when to hold, when to fold, and when to just change the sheets.